When I was little, I dreamed of being "all grown up". In my mind it seemed like such an extraordinary thing, a place where nothing would be impossible. I could change the world. But then life happened and things started to change me. I still dreamed, but they seemed more and more like fantasies - not things that I could actually do or were realistic. Now in this season of growing up, it doesn't feel quite as magical as it seemed back when I was a kid. Because there's one little factor that I hadn't quite grasped yet...growing involves change.
Change is one of those words that evokes a mix of emotions in my mind. On one hand, it's an exciting word full of possibility and adventure. On the other hand, it's scary because it means that I could loose the things that are comfortable and familiar to me. And honestly, some days I just don't want everything to change. I want to go back to those days when everything was as simple as deciding what outfit I wanted to wear or what game I wanted to play with my friends. Yet I know that this is also a beautiful season, full of things that God wants to teach me and amazing adventures He wants to take me on. I'm learning to trust in Him, knowing that He will give strength through whatever changes must take place.
"Fear kills more dreams than failure." This simple sentence jumped out of a song and stuck in my mind. When I was young and full of dreams, they seemed only a skip away from reality. But now I look at opportunities and there are times that fear begins to creep in. Fear of the unknown and doubts that I'm adequate. If allowed to reside in my mind, the fear begins to kill dreams. But when I immerse myself in God's Word, truth comes flooding in, crushing the fear. I, myself, am not adequate - but in Christ I am fully equipped and adequate for whatever He calls me to. I may not know all the details - but God does, and His ways are higher than mine. So my heart can rest in His peace, knowing that whatever change may happen, He is in control.
Growing up certainly involves a lot of change - and some days it hurts. But in these times of change and uncertainty, I know without a doubt that I have an unchanging Rock that I can cling to. An anchor that holds me steady and calms my heart. I'm learning to let go and embrace change. To dream again, and not let fear hold me back when God asks me to take a leap of faith. Because as I seek God, He is aligning my heart with His dreams - but those dreams require change in some shape or form. So I'm taking a deep breath and letting go - learning to grow and learning to dream again.
